


voice:lost

by kihyxns



Series: caregiver magnus and constantly sick/injured alec [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Good Parabatai Jace Wayland, Lost Voice, M/M, Sickfic, Sore throat, caregiver!magnus, sick!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 21:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihyxns/pseuds/kihyxns
Summary: alec loses his voice essentially





	voice:lost

**Author's Note:**

> hiya, i'm here again. exam season is over for me at least, so i'm back to writing this series again! i have another fic that i wrote before this, but as this 'sorta' links to 'you're closed off, open up to me' i thought i should finish it before i post the other one. i`m a big fan of supportative, good parabatai jace wayland, which continues to make an appearance in basically all of my fanfics, i hope y'all enjoy this one, more shall be coming soon!!

first it’s just a discomfort at the back of his throat. then it’s an itch, a scratch, a cough, then a burning, aching pain. it hurts to swallow and to talk, which does not help when the majority of your job requires talking. 

—

Unfortunately for Alec his sore throat doesn’t develop instantaneously. It starts whilst he’s recovering from a cold, his throat become raw from the sheer amount of coughing he does, which exacerbates the situation. His cold does pass, and Magnus does allow him back to the Institute, but his throat doesn’t bounce back as easily. And even though Alec had only been out of action for about two days, he still didn’t want to give the Clave any reason to boot him out of his position. He already got enough stick for being gay and dating a downworlder, he won’t allow taking ‘too many’ sick days to kick him out of the institute for good. Because of this Alec decides to go to the Institute with his voice that barely works, just to show face. After all, Magnus has been wearing him down enough recently that he feels a little more comfortable in admitting when he’s not feeling great. 

He wakes up to an empty bed, but it’s expected this time. Magnus had to travel upstate for an important client and left early in the morning, which left Alec to himself. As soon as he sits up his clears his throat, which does him no favours. He attempts to speak, but it just comes out as a gritty cough, barely recognisable. This is going to be a problem. Grabbing his phone and texting Jace, he alerts him to the fact that he barely has a voice anymore, knowing that with the training mission debrief the was meant to give today might have to be written down instead. Jace’s reply is positive, saying that he’ll beat up anyone who tries to take a jab at Alec for his unusable voice, but it doesn’t make him feel that much better. 

Once he’s up and dressed he goes for his usual coffee, black with probably too much sugar to be healthy. Maybe it’ll calm his throat down he thinks. But it just makes it _burn_ with more intensity. Bad mistake. He ditches the coffee and decides that managing his pain is more useful than eating, so he skips breakfast and goes straight to the Institute, not caring about the way his stomach rumbles on the way there. 

As soon as he makes it to the Institute he makes a beeline to his office, ignoring any potential conversations, making it plain on his face that he is not in the mood to be talked to. It works, he makes it to his office and starts on the paperwork that piled up while he was away. By the amount of mission files and Clave reports that have gathered he figures it was a pretty busy two days. Even though he’s getting used to filing report and report until his hand goes numb, it doesn’t mean that he’s liking it. As long as it keeps him out of talking. 

By midday he swears that he can almost feel this voice regressing, the soreness of his throat is ever persistent and no amount of cold water is going to stop it apparently. Clary brings him lunch, but he can barely swallow, Izzy then brings him some weird tea concoction to try and help soothe his throat but it does nothing. After thanks them as best as he can, but once they’re out the door he feels like curling into a ball under his desk and crying. He feels so damn useless, how can he lead without his voice? How can he command attention? All he wants to be is in bed, with Magnus, at _home_ , but he can’t even be there. Regardless of how weak he feels he is definitely not going to be shown as it. Shadowhunters rarely get sick, the Clave might even start to question his capability to lead if he starts taking too many days off without proper reasoning, he already knows that Raj is talking his mouth off about his leadership capacity. He’s going to do this debrief, otherwise what sort of leader is he? 

—

Alec moves out of his office and into the busy ops centre early, not liking how isolated he began to feel after spending the whole day in there, not really talking to anyone. Usually he’d have people constantly interrupting his work, which he’d normally hate, right now he’s missing it. 

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Jace shuffles in, looking Alec in the eyes softly, attempting to make him open up. 

“It’s just my throat,” Alec croaks out, those four words sending pain throughout his throat as he does. 

“Okay, that’s worse than I was expecting not gonna lie, just get through this debrief and then I’ll make sure you won’t have to do any more talking, yeah?” Jace smiles, clapping his hand down on Alec’s shoulder. 

Alec just nods wearily at him, which sends Jace off, down the corridors of the Institute. Alec quickly retrieves the mission file from its place in the draw, debrief is in ten minutes and even though he’s saved his voice nearly all day, it still doesn’t feel quite up to standard. He takes his place, stood at the end of the table, everyone necessary immediately gathers. 

“Okay, my throat isn’t in the best condition but listen up,” 

Alec stumbles this way through the debrief, attempting to get everyone to understand what he’s trying to say. In the end the condition of his voice just spirals and he’s forced to stop in case he loses it completely. Alec turns, putting a hand to his throat and rubbing whilst Jace ushers everyone out. 

“You don’t have to finish the debrief, Izzy can fill in the rest for them” Jace tries to comfort Alec, his voice turning soft as he speaks. 

“No, it’s my job,” Alec protests weakly, folding his arms over his chest as he does. 

“Don’t force yourself,” Jace places his hand on Alec’s shoulder, attempting to get him to turn to face him. Alec stands strong, not wanting Jace to see the tears that threaten to spill over, “you’re not a machine, capable of never breaking. Shit happens, you get sick, you lose your voice, but punishing yourself isn’t going to change that, it’s just gonna make it worse,” 

“They’re in training, I don’t want them to see me as weak,” Alec mutters, referring to the fact that these are his youngest batch of shadowhunters, he wants to make a good impression. 

“Trust me, no one sees you as weak. Physically, I’m the only one who has a chance of taking you down, but that’s because I’ve had nine years of practice. Mentally? The sheer amount of abuse the Clave has put you through for just being gay makes you the strongest person I know, not to mention that you’re dating a downworlder. Alec, taking days off when you need them isn’t weak, it shows that you know when it’s right to stop,” Jace tries to bolster up his confidence, and it seems to work. Alec turns and gives him a gaze that suggests a weight as been lifted of his chest. 

“Will you call Magnus? I haven’t told him,” Alec splutters, dragging out the last edges of his voice. 

“Yeah sure buddy,” Jace replies with a smile, getting his phone out of his pocket once he does. The call connects within seconds. 

“Hey, woah calm down, no Alec’s fine, yeah I just called because he’s lost his voice,” Jace tries to speak calmly at a worried Magnus who’s talking at a mile a minute, “do you want me to put you on loudspeaker? Alec might not be able to reply,” Jace holds out his phone after tapping the loudspeaker button. 

“Alec! Darling are you okay?” Magnus’ voice sounds laced with worry and it’s making Alec’s heart clench. 

“I’m fine,” Alec croaks back, “I just wanna go _home_ ,” 

“Darling, you can, it’s just I won’t be there for a couple more hours, unless you really need me, I’ll drop everything,” Magnus quickly replies, sounding just a little bit frantic. 

“No, no,” Alec trails off, secretly wanting to pull Magnus away from his work so he can be comforted but knowing that his work is important to him and he definitely shouldn’t be pulled away just for a sore throat and lost voice. Seeing Alec’s pained expression over his moral ethics, Jace takes over. 

“No, I’ll keep Alec company until you make it home, don’t be too late!” Jace laughs, looking at Alec with a reassuring gaze. 

“If that’s really okay with you Alexander,” Magnus sort of questions, testing whether or not Alec will decide to be completely upfront with what he’s feeling. 

“Yeah it’s okay, love you,” 

“Love you too darling,” 

The phone cuts off. Alec lets out a wistful sigh. He knows that rationally Magnus would drop everything to be here with him if he wanted him to, but realistically Magnus has had to take care of him for two days already, and will probably continue being his caregiver once he makes it home tonight. Even though Alec might want Magnus to be here with him right now, he shouldn’t drag him away from catching up with his important work just for a sore throat. He’s sure Jace can keep him company for just a couple more hours. 

“It is okay to want Magnus to be here with you,” Jace whispers cautiously, moving Alec to sit down on the edge of the table as he does. 

“He’s got work, I shouldn’t,” Alec replies sullenly, his damaged voice barely relying how much he’s thought about this since his last migraine. 

“If it was Magnus who was sick, you’d drop everything to be with him even if it was the smallest cold ever,” Alec makes a noncommittal sound from the back of his throat, leaning into Jace’s chest from his seat at the table as he does. Jace rests his arm up the length of his back, slotting Alec’s head into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. 

“Caring about someone is a two-way process, you deserved to be cared for, and you will undoubtedly care for them. Let yourself forget about work, you’re sick and needy, realise that,” Jace tries to talk some sense into Alec, which undoubtedly he’ll agree to now but will just go back on once he starts to get sick again. 

Seeing Alec’s unwillingness and discomfort at the conversation topic, Jace decides that he should probably move him away from the debrief room and back into his office. In the end he’s only got a sore throat and is feeling pretty damn miserable, that’s not going to stop him from doing any work, which is sad but true. Jace knows not to set him up with anymore Clave reports because that will just give him a stress headache due to his throat, instead he could give him a research task maybe. In his current state he’s likely to listen to what Jace tells him, also he can’t reply back so that’s exactly what Jace is going to capitalise on. 

“Hey, why don’t I get Clary to make you some tea and we can figure out something for you to do until Magnus is back yeah?” Jace suggests, knowing that no matter how much he might want to stay like this, they both definitely have to get back to work. 

Alec obviously then tries to ask the question of ‘why Clary?’ but his voice seems to have completely given out on him, only producing a guttural/sounding jumble instead of words. Jace horribly tries to stifle his laughter and fails, just replying with, “she’s much better at it than both of us combined,” before gently easing Alec out of their hugging position. Alec gets up from the table and follows Jace out to the kitchen, hoping that his voice will return with this ‘magically amazing’ tea that Clary is going to brew. 

Luckily Jace catches Clary in the corridor and asks her very nicely if she could make some tea for Alec, and she agrees. Jace then decides to go straight for the library, not the kitchen, so continues to walk. Alec follows him along mindlessly, entering the small library and sitting down in the seat that Jace motions to. Jace turns to the bookshelves, searching for a particular book on demons just for Alec. It’s not too long and complicated so it shouldn’t give him a headache, but boring enough that it should send him to sleep easily, which is what Alec needs right now. 

“Ah ha! ‘Demons and Offensive Fighting Styles: A Comprehensive Guide’, perfect,” 

‘I can kill demons Jace, it’s literally my job, I don’t need to read a book on it,’ Alec scribbles down on a stray piece of paper, the look in his face is one of incredulity. 

“There’s a small nest of Achaieral demons just a little upstate, we haven’t properly fought any before, only simulations. I thought it would be good to brush up on some skills before we go,” 

‘So instead of training, I’m reading?’ Alec looks at Jace with a sense of disbelief almost. 

“Alec you’re too sick to train! Just start reading otherwise you won’t finish before Magnus gets home,” Jace replies, passing him the book and going over to his favoured chair on the other side of the room. Alec attempts a sigh and just opens the book, realising that there’s not much he can do when he feels as miserable as he does. 

Clary stops by not long after, gifting Alec with a hot mug of honey tea, he tries to thank her but fails, which she just laughs at in response. 

“Hey, you can stay if you want,” Jace says abruptly just as Clary begins to make her way out. 

“No it’s fine, Izzy probably won’t mind me in her space,” Clary replies, waving goodbye to the parabatai. Alec gives him a look as he sips his tea. 

“This library is sort of ours, we claimed it for us once you became head of the institute. It’s close to your office, the ops centre and the kitchen, the prime location. I know that Clary has a couple mission reports to do but she doesn’t really do them anywhere else, that’s why I offered,” 

‘Oh, am I invading your space?’ Alec gives him a softer glance, knowing how weirdly territorial people can get over spaces. 

“No, no, she doesn’t mind you being in here,” Jace reassures him, going back to the various mission reports that are laid out on the desk in front of him. 

Alec takes that as a cue to stop talking so just continues to sip at his tea whilst making a start on the Achaieral section of the book. His mind begins to wander, maybe he should give everyone a designated space to do their work? Everyone sort of has one already, a preferential space, but he suspects that they’d like a permanent one. God knows what he’d do without his office, others must feel the same. Plus Jace and Clary seem pretty settled in his library, he recognised a couple of pillows from Jace’s room and some art supplies of Clary’s left in random spaces. It’s cute. The chairs are very comfortable too, really comfortable actually. It couldn’t hurt to close his eyes for just a second, they’re slipping shut anyway, just one second. Only one. 

As Jace suspected, Alec is asleep within five minutes. After half an hour of steady sleeping he pries the book out of his hands and slides a pillow behind his head. Alec is usually quite a light sleeper, having been trained to wake up at any possible hostile noise from childhood, but it seems that he is so exhausted that he wouldn’t wake up like he normally would. Jace continues on with his work, knowing that Magnus is aware of the situation and will probably come to portal Alec home instead of him having to get the subway like usual. 

He is again right about Magnus because as he leaves Alec for just a second to grab some food he spots Magnus wandering through the corridors near Alec office, blatantly confused about his whereabouts. Magnus quickly spots Jace and rushes over to him. 

“Jace! Where’s Alexander?” Magnus asks, slightly out of breath as he does. 

“He’s in the library, asleep,” Jace chuckles as Magnus’ panicked state, he knows that Magnus is worried about Alec but it is a sore throat in the end. It’s cute to see him like this over Alec though. 

Magnus immediately follows Jace along, who abandons his food plans for now. At least Magnus will be taking care of Alec so he can go eat with Clary instead of alone, which will be nice. Jace stands quietly in the doorway, leaning against the old wooden frame as he watches the scene play out in front of him. Magnus is on one knee in front of Alec, who has partially awake now, probably from the gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Magnus asks soothingly, looking up at Alec with the utmost attention and care. 

“I’m tired,” Alec manages to croak out, his hands coming up from where they were once resting in his lap, to being positioned on Magnus’s upper arms. The expression on his face is one of exhaustion, pain and a little bit of relief at the fact that Magnus is finally here to help. 

“Oh, you sound worse than before,” Magnus says sympathetically, moving his hand from Alec’s shoulder to instead cup his jaw, “lets go home now, I’ll see if I can make some sort of potion that will help,” 

Alec just nods reverently, smiling a little as Magnus leans in to kiss his forehead before rising to his full height. He gets up from the comfortable chair and stands next to Magnus as he begins to create the portal home. He looks over at Jace, who looks back with a wide smile across his face. He can feel his own contentment and happiness at the situation flow through the bond as he bounces off of Jace’s love and care for Alec. 

“Thanks for looking after me,” Alec manages to get out, just, as he takes Magnus’ hand to step through the portal. 

“Always,” Jace replies, giving the two a wave as they leave the Institute for home. 

Alec shakes off the dizzy feeling he gets when he portals while sick as Magnus points to the sofa before running off to find his potions book. Alec does take a seat, breathing out a sigh of pure relief once his back hits the soft familiarity of the sofa. He removes his jacket and boots and gets comfortable as Magnus continues to move around the apartment, attempting to read his chosen potion and gather the ingredients for it at the same time. He sees Magnus’ frustration at not having all of the necessary things for his potion, and even though he likes seeing Magnus doing the whole Warlock brewing thing with his little cauldron and everything, he doesn’t want to cause him unnecessarily grief over it. 

“It’s okay,” Alec rasps out, the effects of Clary’s amazing tea and his hour nap start to wear off pretty quickly. 

Magnus stops dead still in his movement, his arms still filled with little glass bottles as he stops pacing between his office space and the kitchen. 

“What’s okay darling?” Magnus asks, slowly coming to his senses and putting the bottles down. He takes a seat next to Alec once he does. 

“I’ll be fine, don’t need to run around for me,” Alec wheezes out his words, his throat beginning to feel raw and painful again. 

“No, no, I only need to get a couple more ingredients and I can make the potion! It shouldn’t take long,” Magnus qualms, attempting to placate Alec so he can get started on the potion. 

“Just stay, with me, _please_?” Alec has that slight pleading look on his face. He wants to express that all he really wants is some tea and pain relief and he’d be fine, he doesn’t need Magnus to go out and make this entire potion for him, there’s no point in wasting time like that. Instead he’d like to curl up and probably watch some ridiculous mundane TV with Magnus, not lie in bed waiting for him to come back. 

“You’re right,” Magnus sighs, snapping his fingers and making all the bottles go back to their shelf positions, “do you want to watch some TV and drink some tea?” 

Alec forgets that Magnus can read him like a book. He nods yes, and the warlock quickly leaves him to brew some tea. Alec uses the opportunity to get up and out of his jeans, deeming himself not tired enough to fall asleep in jeans yet. When he returns from changing Magnus is walking in from the kitchen with two cups of tea in his hands. He sits down first, letting Alec settle himself between his legs before handing him his cup of tea. It’s a combination tea that’s meant to help with sore throats and aid sleep, both things that Alec needs right now. 

Alec sits cross legged between Magnus legs as he sips his tea carefully, planning to lean himself on Magnus’s chest once he’s done with his tea. He takes a little sigh of relaxation as Magnus’s arm snakes around his waist. His throat already feels marginally better, the rawness dying down a bit more with every sip he takes. 

“Hey, I’m proud of you what you did today Alexander,” Magnus takes Alec’s attention away from the TV in that small statement, as he turns to look at his boyfriend from his position. 

“What did I do?” Alec asks, genuinely confused. In his defence the day is mostly a blur. 

“You’ve started to let me in, you called when you felt sick, and even though you told me you would be fine until I finished work. It’s a long way from hiding away in your office like you used to,” Magnus replies fluidly, smiling as he does so. 

“Oh,” Alec lets slip, a little taken back at Magnus sudden confession. 

“I just mean that the Alec I knew four months ago never would have called me about a sore throat, and I’m proud of you for doing that today,” 

“Jace gave me a talking to,” Alec admits sheepishly, continuing to sip on his tea. 

“If that’s what it takes, I’ll endorse it,” Magnus laughs, causing Alec to start to laugh but it just ends up in a cough, “do you want any pain relief of any form?” 

“If you don’t mind,” Alec replies again, a little awkward. He never likes asking of Magnus, even though he does easily have the ability to help greatly in his recovery, he doesn’t want Magnus to think that that’s all he’s worth in Alec’s eyes. 

“I never mind,” Magnus reminds, knowing that that’s something they’ll have to work on as a couple, but also knowing that’s for later. Alec has come further than he expected in the past few months and he couldn’t be happier about it. 

Alec soon finishes off his tea, placing the empty cup on the table once he does. He unfurls his legs from their position, laying them out straight as he tucks his head under Magnus’ chin, his ear directly over Magnus’ heart. Magnus’ arm immediately curves over his back, his right hand resting in his hip. Alec feels pure contentment, even though his throat aches and burns, he doesn’t think he’d trade this moment for anything else in the world. It just gets better as Magnus’ left hand comes up to his throat, his pointer finger tracing Alec’s deflect rune as he summons his magic forward. Swiftly a cooling feeling coats his throat, reducing the previous amount of pain to a fraction of the size. Once Magnus is finished he takes the hand and kisses it gently, a silent thank you. 

Alec’s breathing soon evens out, quickly falling asleep on Magnus within ten minutes of them lying down. Magnus covers them both with one of his fluffy blankets as he commits himself to a night on the sofa, watching reruns of the x-files. Even so, he definitely would not trade this moment for anything else in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> enjoyed? please leave kudos and comments down below!! x


End file.
